bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
