Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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