Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
