32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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