Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize