the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
