please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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