Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she peed on how many people?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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