As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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