I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Randomize
