I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
