Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
