I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize