I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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