Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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