i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
