found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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