Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
