i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
