I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he puts the penis in happiness.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
