Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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