i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
