would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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