You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
