my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
