i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
