I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
