i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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