you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
try to milk me bitch
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