Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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