just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
