I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
