how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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