just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
