but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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