I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
