I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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