Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
