I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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