they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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