i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he fucked my hip out of place.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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