worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
