so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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