I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
false alarm. still invincible.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
