My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
