no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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