Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
