I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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