When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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