Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Randomize
