3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize