I hope mine doesn't look like that
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
