How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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