and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How naked do you want me to be?
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