It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it was like eating out sand paper
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
