i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
