I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
