I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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