I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
